1. As the creative process transgressed from the validation to the performance stage, a new wave of emotions were brought to the community that had not been explored before. We all had retained our own personal relationship with the woman, through the exploration of the body in previous sessions. However, it was not until we all entered the space in the first ensemble part, it was at this point my relationship with other characters really built. I felt there was a sense of vulnerability for all characters on stage; this vulnerability became heightened when we all moved into the Jasmin Vardimon esque movements in the first ensemble piece. As this entered the 'P' stage of the process, there was a greater sense of intent from the ensemble, whereas in the 'V' stage it seemed merely a sequence of movements. This transition was aided by the way in which as characters we were all just as vulnerable as the other, however we decided as a community to pinpoint Daniel because he is intially resisting conforming within the community. Callery suggests;
“Being fully open to other actors is not simply a matter of creating pleasant working relationships. You must be able to work as an ensemble to tell the story moment by moment” (Callery, 2001, p.88)
The 'She's not there' ensemble piece is a particular part that was slightly mechanical in the 'Validation' process of the work. I feel the use of styilsed movement in this part made people focus heavily on getting the movement right, rather than focusing on one's intention in the community. I felt I really engaged with Huma in the community, I really wanted to comfort her and it felt like she was my emotional rock within the piece. It felt as though the burden of the missing woman in the community was too much too carry and we both fell to the floor. The emotional connection that I built up with Huma's character was not alive until the performance stage of the process, it was when I felt she could not cope anymore and we both fell to the floor that I felt the need to really comfort her. It amazed me how I could feel so protective of one particular character, this made my body langauge become more closed as I did not want other people to comfort her.
2. The shift from working in the drama studios to the Arena provided new challenges for us as a company. An initial hurdle was the different spacial dynamic; the studios are rectangular shaped, whereas the arena is long with greath depth. Therefore, we needed to rethink our positioning in parts like the ensemble. I feel that there was an element of selfishness within the group of wanting to be near the front, something I am guilty of myself. After realising this, I volunteered to move to the back of the stage, which I feel created an interesting use of space. It provided scope to work with different levels, for example I used the stairs at the back of the stage, during the 'bedroom flashback' which provided a contrast of levels for the audience. I feel that the technical run provided a few obstacles that we had not considered previously. I think the stopping and starting nature of a techical run was something that was alien to many of us within the group, especially as we had not worked as a company before. I felt like in the technical run my character was almost 'lost' and I was working like a mechanical robot in order to finish the run. This negative energy was no fault but my own as I was feeling frustrated within myself. If I had used that frustration and incorporated that energy into my character's emotional state I would have most likely remained engaged with my character throughout the technical rehearsal. It was the dress rehearsal where I felt as though the piece was finally coming together, what with the lighting, costume and props all in place. This was a moment that provided an abundance of confidence within the group and sparked our emotional intent. I knew from this point, I had to really engage with my character, I needed to develop raw emotion. The way in which we were all given time to explore the space when we first went into the Arena really helped, my character was able to absorb the new surroundings and find its place within the community. Oddey states;
‘How the space is organised and structured for performance is part of the developing process…’ (Oddey, 1996, p.17)
I felt drawn towards the bed for some reason, I used this initial impulse and clutched on to the leg of the bed whilst watching the bar flashback. I felt as if my character was clutching onto the bed in desperation, and almost like they wanted to be cocooned from the burden of the missing woman. For me, it was the authenticity of the props that aided the reality of my character's emotions and I feel like this was something that came across in the final performances. The new space provided an extra layer to the piece; it no longer felt like a rehearsal, it felt like a world we had created. This element of surprise was something that became apparent, during the ‘P’ stage, for example I picked up the wine bottle at one point when I was in the bar in the community. This was something unplanned; it was a natural impulse that my character wanted to do at that moment. Although we were so far on in the RSVP model I also found that I was delving into my character's emotions that I had never explored previously. It was almost as if the new space allowed for more freedom physically, it felt natural to reach out to other members of the community like Jess who I had not interacted with before in the studios.
3. Throughout the three shows I felt that in relation to the RSVP model my character grew emotionally. I was no longer just rehearsing, it was real and the audience presence aided this as I was determined to broadcast the real life message of domestic violence. I feel that the Wednesday matinee lacked energy; this may have been due to the dress rehearsal in the morning. It was almost as if we had all lost our place in the community and were mechanical bodies moving through the space. Looking back, it would have been more effective to have had three to four dress rehearsals on the Tuesday, so that all energy would have been preserved for Wednesday’s two shows. My character took a downfall between the Wednesday matinee and the evening performance, I took it upon myself to sit alone for an hour and regain my sense of focus. After doing this, I felt I went into the evening warm up with a focused mind and body, it was no longer me. I had regained a natural state of readiness that was essential within the physical nature of the process. Lecoq states;
“The face, the hands and the body display feelings, passions and dramatic states, presenting to the observer behaviours patterns natural to the person’s character, behaviour revealed by situations such as anger or fear.” ( Lecoq, 2006, p.16)
This neutrality lapsed formeduring the first ensemble piece. I did a wrong movement for a split second, however quickly recovered into the right ensemble movement. Although, this should not have affected my character’s intent, it made me feel concsious and I became preoccupied with getting the movement right during ensemble parts. In retrospect, I should have just used my ‘mistake’ to conjure up a sense of frustration towards other characters. I feel that from that point on the Wednesday night performance, I was using my brain rather than relying on body memory. This may have come across as artificial to the audience, as I was not portraying the truth of the woman’s plight.
Although this was a barrier, I feel that the final show made me more determined to reach out to members of the audience. It was my last chance to really ‘feel’ my character and I wanted to give it one hundred percent. As a company, we all came to the warm-up fresh and excited for the final performance. I felt that the third show was where I engaged with the flashback scenes wholely, my interactions with other characters were wider. I no longer was thinking about what I should be doing and where I should be, I was acting on impulses. This was something that struck me, as I did not think I would be finding out so much about my character in the ‘P’ stage of the RSVP model. Another aspect, that aided my third performance, was that I used the warm up selfishly; I used the space to really gauge my character’s emotion at each stage. I remember moving to the space, at the end of the street, it was almost as if I did not wan’t anyone to go near me when I was in this area. This was due to the high emotional weight that space has for me during Hayley’s attempt to leave. My selfishness during the warm up activated my emotional intent and I felt part of the woman’s plight of oppressive love, I felt it was my last chance to help her. Marshall states:
“by tuning into the body, performers are able to find the exact and authentic response to the situation. Then they follow it onto unfettered action, enabling real dramatic truth to manifest itself” (Marshall, L. 2002, p. 33)
Bibliography:
Callery, D. (2001): Through The Body: A Practical Guide to Physical Theatre.
London: Neil Hern Books Ltd.
Marshall, L. (2002): The Body Speaks: Performance and Expression. Revised Ed.
London: Palgrave Macmillan Ltd.
Lecoq, J. (2006) Theatre of Movement and gesture: Routledge
Oddey, A. (1994) Devising Theatre - A Practical and Theoretical Handbook. London: Routledge.
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